Two Old Bats in the Belfry
Two Old Bats in the Belfry
The Golden Years: Dating, Sex, and Humor Beyond 50
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We explore the laughter and realities of dating and sexuality after 50. This fun yet deep conversation reveals the joys and complexities of finding love later in life, encouraging listeners to embrace their experiences with humor.
- Introduction to navigating dating after 50
- The challenges and quirks of modern dating
- The role of humor and acceptance in dating and intimacy
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Introduction to the Two Old Bats
Speaker 1Hi everyone, this is Shelly G and Vicki Z, and we are Two Old Bats in the Belfry.
Speaker 2Well, hello listener. Hopefully I could add an S onto that, but I don't know. Vicki, we're still hoping, yes, we're hoping, that you will tell everybody how funny we are, how funny we are, since we are as old as water, dirt or dirt I, you know. I always say I went to school in the Stone Age. Yeah, I asked a younger colleague of mine what she would like to hear us talk about.
Speaker 2And then people started all saying the same thing they want to know about sex and dating after 50. They want to know I would too. Well, that's true, not dating, just the sex by 50, you were married what? 60 years already? No, I was married a long time, I mean at 50 is when? I remember it very distinctly my ex made me a birthday party when I was 50. And I looked around. He invited 50 couples oh wow, friends and family and I looked around at everybody and I saw how many and knew how many were unhappy. And that's when I made up my mind that I didn't hate my ex. But we just grew apart and you know what I didn't want to grow up to be an old, bitter woman.
Speaker 1So right after, that and that makes sense. I got divorced.
Speaker 2And then it hit me I'd have to date a guy that was 60. And in my head I had all of these pictures of hanging testicles and flaf.
Speaker 1And flatulence.
Speaker 2And flatulence. Our technical crew is now under the table because they're young people and we've embarrassed them, I know, but we're not trying to.
Speaker 1We're just trying to be as honest as possible.
Speaker 2But it's true, and then sure enough to.
Speaker 1We're just trying to be as honest as possible, but it's true and then, sure enough. To be honest, I don't know that I could ever get undressed in front of another man again. I said to to my husband the other day. I don't think I'll ever put a bathing suit on again because my skin, after this weight loss, of course is hanging around my ankles.
Speaker 2Yes, I look like a.
Speaker 1Sharpay and my boobs, which once used to be braless and perky as hell, are now down below my waist, and that's kind of upsetting I was asked do all the parts still work?
Speaker 2I'm not sure. After 50. Well that's us, but I mean, we don't know that. But yes, they work, of course. They just maybe don't work as quickly, as quickly as or this.
Speaker 1There's more work involved in getting them to work yes, but um, and then there are a lot of women in our age group who are so perfectly maintained because their whole lifestyle was different.
Speaker 2Absolutely.
Speaker 1I was not an exercise person from the get-go. I was pathetic. I couldn't climb a rope, I couldn't hit a ball, I just.
Speaker 2I had other gifts, let's just say, or, as I used to say, my talents are hidden, don't only lie in the kitchen, oh good.
Speaker 1Oh excellent, Good, good, good, oh excellent.
Speaker 2Good, good, good, there's hope. Then Somebody posed the question does the three-date rule apply?
Speaker 1And I said oh honey, three days, you hope they live three days Right right. They could be dead by then. So it's more like three hours, after three hours, you decide Are we having sex, are we not having sex? Are we just going to talk about having?
Speaker 2sex, or are we going to live to next week and have a second date, right, I know?
Speaker 1it's, it's a riot. Things have changed so drastically. And you know, uh, there's a show which I'm sure everybody knows, that the uh golden bachelor and the golden bachelorette, but my feeling is they're not golden enough. They need to have people on walkers dating, and then they could have races with their walker brigade. And you know people in their 70s and 80s. I mean it's really not funny.
Speaker 2They could do fencing with canes.
Speaker 1They could beat each other up Well.
Speaker 2I had a friend. Unfortunately she passed away during COVID, but she was 91 when she passed away. She lost her husband and she really forged a great life for herself after her husband died. But she met a guy when they were in their 80s and she went on a cruise with her friends and the guy followed her on the cruise.
Speaker 1Oh, that's hysterical.
Speaker 2And they had sex. Now they were in their 80s. How'd that work out? Well, my husband started calling her a slut, and she was in her 80s, and every time he called her a slut, she would pee in her pants and fall on the floor. She thought this was the greatest thing.
Speaker 1It is fun at 80 she's finally in her 80s I think that's so wonderful. Oh look, I do too.
Speaker 2Well, I think I do believe my father had sex well into his 90s. He died at 96 and a half. That's wonderful. So I think, since he wasn't a drinker, he wasn't't pickled. But I think the kid, the pickle was pickled. I think the sex kept him along hey you know what?
Speaker 1It's? A great release of endorphins.
Speaker 2Oh my God, so many things you don't need hormones for your skin.
Speaker 1No, it's just incredible. It is you know, back in the old days, I know, oh my God, I used to do things in the car too, not with anybody else, but my husband Well you got married so young I did we were very young.
Speaker 2I went through a couple of husbands before I found the one I'm keeping Right and that's why, for me personally, I don't need to really be with anybody else.
Speaker 1I'll get a dog or a cat and be very happy. But imagining all of these things is really funny, especially my concept of the real golden bachelor and bachelorette who are definitely older and don't look like the people that they're bringing out, who are so beautifully maintained and look so great. Men look well. Men age well. Men age much better because they shave their faces so they get rid of dead skin cells and you know what's funny If a man has a beer belly, no one cares.
Speaker 2No one cares, and especially if they have a little box Right.
Speaker 1Well, a woman with a beer belly is not quite as appealing as a man with a beer belly, that's true and, of course, with the money situation, there are websites now which cater to wealthy men and women who are seeking wealthy men well remember, our generation has a lot of disposable income right, you know they call us the baby boomers right, but we do. Yeah, we do. We're free income. However, I do feel that, finally, baby boomers are being shoved to the side because we are too old.
Speaker 2Well, we're not the demographic that the world caters to now and once we accept that and we move on, we have our own little niche in life. We certainly have a niche, yes we do? I can tell you, regarding sex, when I met my present husband, the keeper, I'm going to call him that from now on the keeper.
Speaker 1He had black hair.
Speaker 2Now he's jet white, yeah, and his biggest fear is that I've inherited my father's genes.
Speaker 1Oh, there you go. And my sweetheart, who I've been with, did have hair. He has none now.
Speaker 2And that's okay. Did you make that fall fall out, or did it fall out on its own?
Speaker 1I think it's probably an inherited trait from his mother or his father's mother, his grandmother, which I think it goes on the male side. But whatever, I happen to think he's better looking now than he was when I married him. Everybody thought he looked like arnold stang when I married him. Well, he really didn't, but he was little.
Speaker 2Unfortunately, sex is becoming more and more of a great memory. Right Than a wonderful experience. Talk about it Than a wonderful experience, than a wonderful experience.
Speaker 1But at my age now, though, I just love a good hug, and a hickey, too, on my neck every once in a while reminds me of the good old days.
Speaker 2Ah, the good old days.
Speaker 1Ah, the good old days and we'll leave you with this.
Speaker 2Remember, age is mind over matter if you don't mind, it doesn't matter.