Two Old Bats in the Belfry
Two Old Bats in the Belfry
The Golden Years: Dating, Sex, and Humor Beyond 50
We explore the laughter and realities of dating and sexuality after 50. This fun yet deep conversation reveals the joys and complexities of finding love later in life, encouraging listeners to embrace their experiences with humor.
- Introduction to navigating dating after 50
- The challenges and quirks of modern dating
- The role of humor and acceptance in dating and intimacy
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Hi everyone, this is Shelly G and Vicki Z, and we are Two Old Bats in the Belfry.
Speaker 2:Well, hello listener. Hopefully I could add an S onto that, but I don't know. Vicki, we're still hoping, yes, we're hoping, that you will tell everybody how funny we are, how funny we are, since we are as old as water, dirt or dirt I, you know. I always say I went to school in the Stone Age. Yeah, I asked a younger colleague of mine what she would like to hear us talk about.
Speaker 2:And then people started all saying the same thing they want to know about sex and dating after 50. They want to know I would too. Well, that's true, not dating, just the sex by 50, you were married what? 60 years already? No, I was married a long time, I mean at 50 is when? I remember it very distinctly my ex made me a birthday party when I was 50. And I looked around. He invited 50 couples oh wow, friends and family and I looked around at everybody and I saw how many and knew how many were unhappy. And that's when I made up my mind that I didn't hate my ex. But we just grew apart and you know what I didn't want to grow up to be an old, bitter woman.
Speaker 1:So right after, that and that makes sense. I got divorced.
Speaker 2:And then it hit me I'd have to date a guy that was 60. And in my head I had all of these pictures of hanging testicles and flaf.
Speaker 1:And flatulence.
Speaker 2:And flatulence. Our technical crew is now under the table because they're young people and we've embarrassed them, I know, but we're not trying to.
Speaker 1:We're just trying to be as honest as possible.
Speaker 2:But it's true, and then sure enough to.
Speaker 1:We're just trying to be as honest as possible, but it's true and then, sure enough. To be honest, I don't know that I could ever get undressed in front of another man again. I said to to my husband the other day. I don't think I'll ever put a bathing suit on again because my skin, after this weight loss, of course is hanging around my ankles.
Speaker 2:Yes, I look like a.
Speaker 1:Sharpay and my boobs, which once used to be braless and perky as hell, are now down below my waist, and that's kind of upsetting I was asked do all the parts still work?
Speaker 2:I'm not sure. After 50. Well that's us, but I mean, we don't know that. But yes, they work, of course. They just maybe don't work as quickly, as quickly as or this.
Speaker 1:There's more work involved in getting them to work yes, but um, and then there are a lot of women in our age group who are so perfectly maintained because their whole lifestyle was different.
Speaker 2:Absolutely.
Speaker 1:I was not an exercise person from the get-go. I was pathetic. I couldn't climb a rope, I couldn't hit a ball, I just.
Speaker 2:I had other gifts, let's just say, or, as I used to say, my talents are hidden, don't only lie in the kitchen, oh good.
Speaker 1:Oh excellent, Good, good, good, oh excellent.
Speaker 2:Good, good, good, there's hope. Then Somebody posed the question does the three-date rule apply?
Speaker 1:And I said oh honey, three days, you hope they live three days Right right. They could be dead by then. So it's more like three hours, after three hours, you decide Are we having sex, are we not having sex? Are we just going to talk about having?
Speaker 2:sex, or are we going to live to next week and have a second date, right, I know?
Speaker 1:it's, it's a riot. Things have changed so drastically. And you know, uh, there's a show which I'm sure everybody knows, that the uh golden bachelor and the golden bachelorette, but my feeling is they're not golden enough. They need to have people on walkers dating, and then they could have races with their walker brigade. And you know people in their 70s and 80s. I mean it's really not funny.
Speaker 2:They could do fencing with canes.
Speaker 1:They could beat each other up Well.
Speaker 2:I had a friend. Unfortunately she passed away during COVID, but she was 91 when she passed away. She lost her husband and she really forged a great life for herself after her husband died. But she met a guy when they were in their 80s and she went on a cruise with her friends and the guy followed her on the cruise.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's hysterical.
Speaker 2:And they had sex. Now they were in their 80s. How'd that work out? Well, my husband started calling her a slut, and she was in her 80s, and every time he called her a slut, she would pee in her pants and fall on the floor. She thought this was the greatest thing.
Speaker 1:It is fun at 80 she's finally in her 80s I think that's so wonderful. Oh look, I do too.
Speaker 2:Well, I think I do believe my father had sex well into his 90s. He died at 96 and a half. That's wonderful. So I think, since he wasn't a drinker, he wasn't't pickled. But I think the kid, the pickle was pickled. I think the sex kept him along hey you know what?
Speaker 1:It's? A great release of endorphins.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, so many things you don't need hormones for your skin.
Speaker 1:No, it's just incredible. It is you know, back in the old days, I know, oh my God, I used to do things in the car too, not with anybody else, but my husband Well you got married so young I did we were very young.
Speaker 2:I went through a couple of husbands before I found the one I'm keeping Right and that's why, for me personally, I don't need to really be with anybody else.
Speaker 1:I'll get a dog or a cat and be very happy. But imagining all of these things is really funny, especially my concept of the real golden bachelor and bachelorette who are definitely older and don't look like the people that they're bringing out, who are so beautifully maintained and look so great. Men look well. Men age well. Men age much better because they shave their faces so they get rid of dead skin cells and you know what's funny If a man has a beer belly, no one cares.
Speaker 2:No one cares, and especially if they have a little box Right.
Speaker 1:Well, a woman with a beer belly is not quite as appealing as a man with a beer belly, that's true and, of course, with the money situation, there are websites now which cater to wealthy men and women who are seeking wealthy men well remember, our generation has a lot of disposable income right, you know they call us the baby boomers right, but we do. Yeah, we do. We're free income. However, I do feel that, finally, baby boomers are being shoved to the side because we are too old.
Speaker 2:Well, we're not the demographic that the world caters to now and once we accept that and we move on, we have our own little niche in life. We certainly have a niche, yes we do? I can tell you, regarding sex, when I met my present husband, the keeper, I'm going to call him that from now on the keeper.
Speaker 1:He had black hair.
Speaker 2:Now he's jet white, yeah, and his biggest fear is that I've inherited my father's genes.
Speaker 1:Oh, there you go. And my sweetheart, who I've been with, did have hair. He has none now.
Speaker 2:And that's okay. Did you make that fall fall out, or did it fall out on its own?
Speaker 1:I think it's probably an inherited trait from his mother or his father's mother, his grandmother, which I think it goes on the male side. But whatever, I happen to think he's better looking now than he was when I married him. Everybody thought he looked like arnold stang when I married him. Well, he really didn't, but he was little.
Speaker 2:Unfortunately, sex is becoming more and more of a great memory. Right Than a wonderful experience. Talk about it Than a wonderful experience, than a wonderful experience.
Speaker 1:But at my age now, though, I just love a good hug, and a hickey, too, on my neck every once in a while reminds me of the good old days.
Speaker 2:Ah, the good old days.
Speaker 1:Ah, the good old days and we'll leave you with this.
Speaker 2:Remember, age is mind over matter if you don't mind, it doesn't matter.