Two Old Bats in the Belfry
Two Old Bats in the Belfry
Words are our playground, even the naughty ones.
Words have power. They can stimulate our brains, provide comic relief, or help us express emotions when nothing else will do. Shelley and Vicki dive into their lifelong love affair with language in this delightfully candid conversation about keeping mentally sharp as we age.
The two hosts share how their passion for reading began early—with checking out "30 books at a time" from the library as a child—and continues today through daily crossword puzzles, word games, and the New York Times Spelling Bee. This commitment to mental exercise isn't just enjoyable; it's a deliberate strategy against cognitive decline.
The conversation takes a humorous turn as they discuss linguistic pet peeves (improper grammar from educated professionals drives them "up a wall") before exploring their favorite unusual words. From "blivet" (ten pounds of stuff in a five-pound bag) to "swatain" (a term too colorful to explain here), they celebrate language that paints vivid pictures. Their discussion of profanity's stress-relieving properties reveals how aging has brought an unexpected freedom of expression, though they acknowledge the need to watch their language around their young grandchildren.
Hi everyone this is Shelley G and Vicki Z, and we are Two Old Bats in the. Belfry.
Speaker 1:Ever since I've been in. Well, actually, it started at 12, vic, where I became a voracious reader. I would spend the summers in the library really taking out like 30 books at a time and reading them Fantastic, and to this day. I do three crossword puzzles a day. I play New York Times Spelling Bee. I do all of that to keep my mind active, and I know you also.
Speaker 2:Yes, I think it's so important to continually enrich our brains as they shrivel and rattle around in our souls, so what about the belly? Fat doesn't shrivel. I don't know the brain shrivels but not the belly. I know my grandmother died and left me her body, and there's no question that I'm built just like her.
Speaker 1:But it does bother me and I know it bothers you too, when we watch TV, how sometimes actors continually use like oh, everything is amazing's, everything is amazing. Right, You're amazing. Yes, you know, it's like that's the only word I know.
Speaker 2:And what about all the police and detectives and even people in politics get up and speak incorrect grammar? Oh, all the time that just drives me up a wall. I can understand uneducated people doing that, but, um, I have always loved words too. I've always loved to read and, um, I do play word games and I do think, and I've gotten much faster. I have to say, uh, my husband looks at them and he just he never liked word games, he never liked monopoly, he never liked Scrabble.
Speaker 1:My husband has ADHD. He said he just wasn't diagnosed.
Speaker 2:100 years ago, but there are certain words that I just well. One of the words that you use which I love is voracious.
Speaker 1:That's such a wonderful word. We use all these words, but can we define them?
Speaker 2:Yes, yes we can, yes we can.
Speaker 1:But I want to hear the funky words that you love to use.
Speaker 2:Oh, I love well funky. I don't know if you would say incontinent is funky, but it's certainly a word that's in my vocabulary.
Speaker 1:Well, it could be funky if it's left untreated.
Speaker 2:Yeah, pee your pants always. I've said that forever. But my two favorite words right now are dirtbag motherfucker and shitbag motherfucker, and I say it like a million times a day. It makes me so happy, it's a great stress relief.
Speaker 1:We can say that as soon as the TV goes on or the radio.
Speaker 2:I know.
Speaker 1:Really, it's all over the news now. I know, see, I like shitbag, I love shitbag. I think shit bag has a lot of Visualization. It's like my husband's definition of blivet. Do you know what a blivet is? No, it's 10 pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag. Eww, he calls that a blivet, like if he sees someone whose clothes might be a little tight.
Speaker 2:It's a blivet. It's a blivet I like. Now that's a word I can hide my teeth into.
Speaker 1:I don't know if it's really a word or he just made it up, oh, but I love it.
Speaker 2:Well, it's like swatain. You know what swatain is? No, it's when you have stains in your underpants and you throw them against a wall. If they stick, it's swatane oh, I like that.
Speaker 1:It reminds me of railroad tracks. You know what railroad tracks are? Yes, yes, I unfortunately do I remember a person of mine saying to her husband I don't want any railroad tracks that's absolutely true.
Speaker 2:Well, that that's Swatain also, isn't that a great word? Swatain, yes, who made that up? An old, old friend of ours who is now unfortunately not here with us, but he was one of the funniest people I have ever met and he, he would just put me on the floor most of the time, and Swatain was.
Speaker 1:We should write Funkin' Wagmills and see if they want to put it in.
Speaker 2:Want to put that in yes, and your word blivel Blivet, Blivet.
Speaker 1:Oh, I think that is that there might even be a word. I'm not sure.
Speaker 2:Well, if it is, it's not one that I've heard before, and I love it.
Speaker 1:It's a gefilte fish between your toes. Oh, I have to tell my husband that I have no idea what that means. Well, I don't think he does either.
Speaker 2:My husband, because he's a podiatrist, always used to talk about toe jam.
Speaker 1:Oh toe jam.
Speaker 2:I've heard that expression and that used to make me want to vomit because of what it is. It's really gross. I know it really is, but it does not have a great connotation, certainly. But I do love words and I do love to use words Sometimes.
Speaker 1:I guess you can sound a little pretentious using all those words, my former mother-in-law was like that you had to use proper English and she thought that she was so erudite.
Speaker 2:Oh, I love that word too when she was nothing but a barracuda. Oh, there you go, and I love that you're embellishing. Embellishment is such a wonderful thing. Embellishment, yes, embellishment.
Speaker 1:You can actually see embellishment right Well back to the dirty words.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love dirty words. They are a great release. Yeah, they are a great release. And I had an aunt once who was really psycho crazy and I adored her and she used to tell me that her therapist said just say fuck whenever you want, because it's a stress release. So I, of course I was 14. I started doing that no, I'm joking, I really just started using great profanity, I would say in my 60s, 70s.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's old.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but I love it and I'm making up for lost time. I want to tell you it's easy to do that.
Speaker 1:Very easy to do these days, especially in these times, it's very easy. Yes, I remember my grandmother, yeda, was from the old country. Of course she had you know, the Yiddish ones the accent. The first time she said cock. All four grandchildren were there, we were adults, but she said like fuck and we were on the floor.
Speaker 2:Oh, did she realize what she was saying?
Speaker 1:oh yeah, she did, but she just, you know, you don't expect that to come. I don't. I don't think I I don't think I heard my mother curse no, my mother didn't either my grandmother, my father cursed all the time did.
Speaker 2:as a matter of fact, he was so bad at that that when he was around my son, when he was a little boy, I had to stop that immediately Because I didn't want that. Even my son had said to me why is Pop-Pop so nasty?
Speaker 1:Well, you and I are going to have to curtail on that. Yes, I want to have a new little grandchild. Yes, we are Because this little love bug is very bright. And we don't want his could you imagine his first words if they were curse words?
Speaker 2:I know, oh my God, it would be embarrassing my daughter and son-in-law would freak out?
Speaker 1:Yes, they probably would. They'd probably get us from seeing the baby.
Speaker 2:Unless they wouldn't care that much. Because no see. I don't think they would care that much, but we do have to be careful. We want to be perfectly wonderful, influences and encourage all the right things instead of shitbag, motherfucker and, you know, douchebag.
Speaker 1:And dirtbag, douchebag that's another very descriptive. Douchebag is a great one, isn't it? Because you know? You picture that? Oh, without a doubt. And in the bag Right Hanging up and the warm water trickling down. Yes, oh, yes, oh yes.
Speaker 2:And you want to shove that up somebody's ass? I know I think so. Absolutely. There's nothing like Absolutely not. So fuck off. No, just love you all and don't think there's anything wrong with saying bitch face. There's nothing wrong with that. Agreed, and we'll leave you with this. Remember age is mind over matter.
Speaker 1:If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.