Two Old Bats in the Belfry
Two Old Bats in the Belfry
Words are our playground, even the naughty ones.
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Words have power. They can stimulate our brains, provide comic relief, or help us express emotions when nothing else will do. Shelley and Vicki dive into their lifelong love affair with language in this delightfully candid conversation about keeping mentally sharp as we age.
The two hosts share how their passion for reading began early—with checking out "30 books at a time" from the library as a child—and continues today through daily crossword puzzles, word games, and the New York Times Spelling Bee. This commitment to mental exercise isn't just enjoyable; it's a deliberate strategy against cognitive decline.
The conversation takes a humorous turn as they discuss linguistic pet peeves (improper grammar from educated professionals drives them "up a wall") before exploring their favorite unusual words. From "blivet" (ten pounds of stuff in a five-pound bag) to "swatain" (a term too colorful to explain here), they celebrate language that paints vivid pictures. Their discussion of profanity's stress-relieving properties reveals how aging has brought an unexpected freedom of expression, though they acknowledge the need to watch their language around their young grandchildren.
Introduction to the Two Old Bats
Speaker 2Hi everyone this is Shelley G and Vicki Z, and we are Two Old Bats in the. Belfry.
Keeping Our Minds Active
Speaker 1Ever since I've been in. Well, actually, it started at 12, vic, where I became a voracious reader. I would spend the summers in the library really taking out like 30 books at a time and reading them Fantastic, and to this day. I do three crossword puzzles a day. I play New York Times Spelling Bee. I do all of that to keep my mind active, and I know you also.
Speaker 2Yes, I think it's so important to continually enrich our brains as they shrivel and rattle around in our souls, so what about the belly? Fat doesn't shrivel. I don't know the brain shrivels but not the belly. I know my grandmother died and left me her body, and there's no question that I'm built just like her.
The Grammar Police
Speaker 1But it does bother me and I know it bothers you too, when we watch TV, how sometimes actors continually use like oh, everything is amazing's, everything is amazing. Right, You're amazing. Yes, you know, it's like that's the only word I know.
Speaker 2And what about all the police and detectives and even people in politics get up and speak incorrect grammar? Oh, all the time that just drives me up a wall. I can understand uneducated people doing that, but, um, I have always loved words too. I've always loved to read and, um, I do play word games and I do think, and I've gotten much faster. I have to say, uh, my husband looks at them and he just he never liked word games, he never liked monopoly, he never liked Scrabble.
Speaker 1My husband has ADHD. He said he just wasn't diagnosed.
Speaker 2100 years ago, but there are certain words that I just well. One of the words that you use which I love is voracious.
Speaker 1That's such a wonderful word. We use all these words, but can we define them?
Speaker 2Yes, yes we can, yes we can.
Speaker 1But I want to hear the funky words that you love to use.
Speaker 2Oh, I love well funky. I don't know if you would say incontinent is funky, but it's certainly a word that's in my vocabulary.
Favorite Funky Words
Speaker 1Well, it could be funky if it's left untreated.
Speaker 2Yeah, pee your pants always. I've said that forever. But my two favorite words right now are dirtbag motherfucker and shitbag motherfucker, and I say it like a million times a day. It makes me so happy, it's a great stress relief.
Speaker 1We can say that as soon as the TV goes on or the radio.
Speaker 2I know.
Speaker 1Really, it's all over the news now. I know, see, I like shitbag, I love shitbag. I think shit bag has a lot of Visualization. It's like my husband's definition of blivet. Do you know what a blivet is? No, it's 10 pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag. Eww, he calls that a blivet, like if he sees someone whose clothes might be a little tight.
Speaker 2It's a blivet. It's a blivet I like. Now that's a word I can hide my teeth into.
Speaker 1I don't know if it's really a word or he just made it up, oh, but I love it.
Speaker 2Well, it's like swatain. You know what swatain is? No, it's when you have stains in your underpants and you throw them against a wall. If they stick, it's swatane oh, I like that.
Speaker 1It reminds me of railroad tracks. You know what railroad tracks are? Yes, yes, I unfortunately do I remember a person of mine saying to her husband I don't want any railroad tracks that's absolutely true.
Speaker 2Well, that that's Swatain also, isn't that a great word? Swatain, yes, who made that up? An old, old friend of ours who is now unfortunately not here with us, but he was one of the funniest people I have ever met and he, he would just put me on the floor most of the time, and Swatain was.
Speaker 1We should write Funkin' Wagmills and see if they want to put it in.
Speaker 2Want to put that in yes, and your word blivel Blivet, Blivet.
Speaker 1Oh, I think that is that there might even be a word. I'm not sure.
Speaker 2Well, if it is, it's not one that I've heard before, and I love it.
Speaker 1It's a gefilte fish between your toes. Oh, I have to tell my husband that I have no idea what that means. Well, I don't think he does either.
Speaker 2My husband, because he's a podiatrist, always used to talk about toe jam.
Speaker 1Oh toe jam.
The Joy of Profanity
Speaker 2I've heard that expression and that used to make me want to vomit because of what it is. It's really gross. I know it really is, but it does not have a great connotation, certainly. But I do love words and I do love to use words Sometimes.
Speaker 1I guess you can sound a little pretentious using all those words, my former mother-in-law was like that you had to use proper English and she thought that she was so erudite.
Speaker 2Oh, I love that word too when she was nothing but a barracuda. Oh, there you go, and I love that you're embellishing. Embellishment is such a wonderful thing. Embellishment, yes, embellishment.
Speaker 1You can actually see embellishment right Well back to the dirty words.
Speaker 2Yeah, I love dirty words. They are a great release. Yeah, they are a great release. And I had an aunt once who was really psycho crazy and I adored her and she used to tell me that her therapist said just say fuck whenever you want, because it's a stress release. So I, of course I was 14. I started doing that no, I'm joking, I really just started using great profanity, I would say in my 60s, 70s.
Speaker 1Oh, that's old.
Speaker 2Yeah, but I love it and I'm making up for lost time. I want to tell you it's easy to do that.
Speaker 1Very easy to do these days, especially in these times, it's very easy. Yes, I remember my grandmother, yeda, was from the old country. Of course she had you know, the Yiddish ones the accent. The first time she said cock. All four grandchildren were there, we were adults, but she said like fuck and we were on the floor.
Speaker 2Oh, did she realize what she was saying?
Speaker 1oh yeah, she did, but she just, you know, you don't expect that to come. I don't. I don't think I I don't think I heard my mother curse no, my mother didn't either my grandmother, my father cursed all the time did.
Speaker 2as a matter of fact, he was so bad at that that when he was around my son, when he was a little boy, I had to stop that immediately Because I didn't want that. Even my son had said to me why is Pop-Pop so nasty?
Speaker 1Well, you and I are going to have to curtail on that. Yes, I want to have a new little grandchild. Yes, we are Because this little love bug is very bright. And we don't want his could you imagine his first words if they were curse words?
Speaker 2I know, oh my God, it would be embarrassing my daughter and son-in-law would freak out?
Speaker 1Yes, they probably would. They'd probably get us from seeing the baby.
Speaker 2Unless they wouldn't care that much. Because no see. I don't think they would care that much, but we do have to be careful. We want to be perfectly wonderful, influences and encourage all the right things instead of shitbag, motherfucker and, you know, douchebag.
Speaker 1And dirtbag, douchebag that's another very descriptive. Douchebag is a great one, isn't it? Because you know? You picture that? Oh, without a doubt. And in the bag Right Hanging up and the warm water trickling down. Yes, oh, yes, oh yes.
Closing Thoughts on Aging
Speaker 2And you want to shove that up somebody's ass? I know I think so. Absolutely. There's nothing like Absolutely not. So fuck off. No, just love you all and don't think there's anything wrong with saying bitch face. There's nothing wrong with that. Agreed, and we'll leave you with this. Remember age is mind over matter.
Speaker 1If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.