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You know that moment when you’re out in public, watching someone do a job that looks exhausting, and you think, “I respect you, but I could never”? That’s where we start, and we don’t stop there. We’re Shelly G and Vicky Z, and we’re taking a brutally honest, laugh-out-loud look at aging, patience, and the long list of things our younger selves might’ve tried without a second thought.
We talk about restaurant servers and the mental stamina it takes to stay kind when people are not. Then our brains do what they always do: we spiral into the ridiculous. Sexy uniforms, Playboy bunny logic, pole dancing as “great exercise,” and those gym trends that involve flying on elastic bands. Along the way, we keep circling back to the real stuff listeners care about: body changes, body confidence, and the weird line between “I’m curious” and “I might throw my hip out.”
We also share a story about belly dancing lessons, an instructor you wouldn’t expect, and how aging can still be playful even when your body has opinions. And yes, we go there with a memory that proves how one blunt compliment can stick with you for years. If you like comedy podcasts about getting older, body positivity with bite, and honest conversations about midlife and senior life, you’ll feel right at home.
Subscribe for more, share this with a friend who needs a laugh, and leave a review if our “old bats” energy hits the mark. What’s one job or trend you look at and instantly think, “Not a chance”?
Have you ever been out somewhere and looked around and said, Oh my god, I would never do that. I would never do that job. At this point in our lives, our personal choice would not be to do that. I mean, I I sometimes look around when we go to restaurants and I say these people work so hard and sometimes they're not treated so nicely. But I I imagine a server with bad hearing. Oh. And instead of the client saying, huh? Can you repeat that? Can you imagine? What did you say you wanted?
SPEAKER_00
You won fries with that? I mean, could you could you? I I yeah, I am somewhat of an obsessive, compulsive person, and I would be very good at serving in my younger days. Of course. Because I remember things and I know who got what, but at this point, I would have no patience. Make up your fucking mind already! There's ten things. Pick two!
SPEAKER_01
I mean, could you imagine us in the in a like a sexy uniform? We would give new meaning to the SAG Awards.
SPEAKER_00
Oh, without a doubt. Especially if we were Playboy bunnies. Oh, I come back. You know, the way that that thing used to lift the the boobs, mine would be under my neck. What if what do I do about that? We stayed too long in the hutch. Yes, we did.
We stayed way too long in the hutch. I mean, we we would never make it in in the pool in the Playboy mansion. That's for sure. Unless we were cleaning it out.
SPEAKER_00
But I mean And I couldn't climb a rope in gym in in high school, so I don't know how I could be a pole dancer. I think I might get maybe one or two feet off the ground. So everybody would have to sit very low. So what you're saying is you do not have a pole in your bedroom. No, I don't. I considered it, but then I decided no, because it is good exercise. They say that it's very good exercise. Listen. What about those? Getting out of bed is good exercise. Absolutely. And what about those people who were flying on elastic bands? Could you imagine that? Oh no. I just saw that actually. And they're doing that in a gym. I know, but how do you not kick somebody in the face? I'd leave a trail of pea on the floor, I know it. You from laughing so hard.
SPEAKER_01
So you can't let us do things like that, just like you can't let us go in go-kart speaking.
SPEAKER_00
Oh no, definitely not. I know. Bad idea. It we'd be like our grandson. Right. Yes. We'd be a maniac. A maniac,
It's so hot, I want to come down, please. What time is this right out? Oh, yeah, really?
SPEAKER_00
I don't think I could handle that at all. The pull of gravity, though, might be a good thing because every wrinkle would go away. See, you know what we could be?
SPEAKER_01
You and I could be swimsuit models for senior citizens who are not exactly Miss America shaped.
SPEAKER_00
Well, the the problem for me with that is that I have so many age spots on my legs that if you connect them, you get Route 66. Well, so that leaves out life going as well. Without a question, unless I can wear a wetsuit which covers me from neck to ankle. And that would be great. What do you think about a belly dancer? I actually took belly dancing lessons once. Me and my friends at the time. Should I be mean and say I guess it didn't work?
Uh you're absolutely right. But the funniest thing about it was, and this is absolutely the truth, we didn't see our teacher. We didn't know who she was until the music started. And she came out and she was about 80 years old. Oh my god. And she had her zills. That's what they're called, these zills that you use on your fingers, and you have to know how to do it in the beats. I think it's great, and it looks like it's fabulous exercise. It is great exercise and it's a lot of fun. Unless you throw your hips out you do when you get out of bed. Exactly. But I think the time for that also sadly has passed. Although a lot of these things we can do with the privacy of our own environs. Well, yes, and not have to worry about anybody looking at us. But for the most part, I think I'll
Well, here's the big question. I know we wouldn't do these now that we're a little older. Would you do them when you were younger? Yes, if someone thought I could. Really? Absolutely.
SPEAKER_00
If somebody told you you could be a Playboy bunny, would you do that? No, that I wouldn't do. But a pole dancer I would do for the exercise. Not in front of people, just in my own place. Because I'm shy in that way. And it's really well, when it comes to my body, I don't like to expose anything. I I wore a dress once to a wedding. I didn't have a bra on. And this dress, it was actually called
the La Bamba dress by the designer. And I didn't wear a bra, and I was very decollet exposed.
SPEAKER_01
How old were you?
SPEAKER_00
I was younger. I was in my 40s. And one of our friends came over and said, Do you like compliments? And I said, What woman does? And he said, Nice tits and walked away. So I knew that at least once in my life I had the appearance of a great bod.
SPEAKER_01
Well, the for our last flap, the only thing I see with a pole in my bedroom is trying to scrape my husband off the floor because he laughed so hard. He fell off the bed. He he broke his hip, and here I would have to get him up because the laughter would be outrageous.
SPEAKER_00
I was thinking you were gonna say draperies. That too.
